Tuesday, February 28, 2012

T minus two ...

OK, so it's midnight and I'm exhausted and I'm contemplating the thought of having to write a blog post. I really don't want this to become something I dread -- or worse yet, feel guilty about because I can't accomplish what I set out to do. But still, I am going to make the attempt. So here I go.

A slice of my life for today: I am forever doomed to suffer the curse of being "too nice." I hate the word "nice." In fact, I started smoking as a senior in high school just to escape the "nice" label. That, combined with dating an edgy skater-type helped to diminish but not entirely dispel it. (Note to impressionable youth: SMOKING IS BAD. Don't do it.)

Nice came back to bite me in the butt yet again today. I seem to have lost the authority in one of my classes. As fond as I am of these rambunctious students, it became all too clear to me today that at the moment it is they -- not I -- who are running the show. Now granted, we are reading The Great Gatsby and they are rebelling against the very idea of English class, but that should not give them license to behave the way they did in class today.

So ... now I have to regain the upper hand. This is an uncomfortable but not altogether unfamiliar process. I've been through this before. As my principal always says, though, it's so much easier to start out as a hard-ass and then taper off than to have to move in the other direction to regain control. That is unfortunately where I am right now.

Not to make it all about power, because it is not. But as the adult and the "lead learner" (to use an educational catch phrase) I need to ensure that students' behavior does not impede their learning or anyone else's in the class. I think I came to the somewhat uncomfortable realization today that my loss of control had allowed this to happen.

So, after a day off tomorrow for literacy training, I will return to the classroom on Wednesday morning and gain back my authority. The secret will be doing it so subtly that they don't even notice. I'll let you all know how thiat goes.

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